Mystery Science Theater 3000: Joel's Origin
by WayWardWonderer
Summary: Joel Robinson, marooned alone in space, creates his robot friends and prepares to endure his first experiment in the theater from his captors Dr. Clayton Forrester and Dr. Laurence 'Larry' Erhardt. With the newly created MST3k crew / family, things will get very interesting very fast. It's the beginning of Mystery Science Theatre 3000.
1. In the Not Too Distant Future

In the not too distant future, next Sunday A.D., there was a guy named Joel, not too different from you or me. He worked at Gizmonic Institute, just another face in a red jumpsuit. He did a good job cleaning up the place, but his bosses didn't like him so they shot him into space!

'We'll send him cheesy movies, the worst we can find!' (la la la)

'He'll have to sit and watch them all and we'll monitor his mind!' (la la la)

Now keep in mind Joel can't control when the movies begin or end, because he used those special parts to make his robot friends!

'Robot Roll Call: Cambot (Pan left.)

Gypsy (Hi girl!)

Tom Servo (What a cool guy.)

Croooow (What a wise cracker...)'

You're probably wondering how Joel eats and breathes, and other science facts. (la la la) Just repeat to yourself: 'It's just a show, I should really just relax!'

Mystery Science Theater 3000


	2. Way Down in Deep 13

Joel Robinson, just another face in a red jumpsuit, began his daily routine of cleaning and organizing the odd contents concealed deep inside the warehouses and numerous basements of Gizmonic Institutes. Joel was smart enough to keep to himself and never interfered with the bizarre experiments or irresponsible products created at the institute, but his curiosity and natural skills with tinkering made him an easy target for the burned out mad scientists to try and exploit.

One such evening Joel was busy moving large oil drums and filling out reports when Dr. Laurence 'Larry' Ehhardt was given an unusual order by his supervisor, Dr. Clayton Forrester.

"Hey Joel, come here a second, would ya'?" Larry was standing next to the broad entryway to the secret launch pad just outside the institute. The door was heavily secured with the latest technology and required a numeric code to unlock the door.

"Sure." Joel was never one to ignore a request. He walked over to the black lab coat wearing shady man. "What's up Dr. Erhardt?"

"What do you know about space travel?"

"Not much, why do you ask?"

"Perfect!" He started laughing menacingly under his breath. "I, uh mean, that's interesting." He clumsily 'corrected' himself. "You see that?" He pointed through the glass window to the stationary, recently built satellite docked on the launch pad.

"Yeah, what about it?"

"That's the newly built and finished 'Satellite of Love'. And well, it's due for a thorough cleaning! We need someone to climb aboard and really scrub it out and we... that is Dr. Forrester and myself, think you're just the man for the job!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, really!"

"Well that's good," he rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. "I was kinda' getting the feeling that you guys didn't like me or something."

"What?! Nooooooo!" He exaggerated his reaction to the point of ludicrously. "We like you Joel, we really do! We're just... uh..."

"Busy?"

"Yeah, that's it! Busy!"

"Oh. Okay. So do you want me to get started now or..." He trailed off, not wanting to assume anything and accidentally offend his boss.

"Yeah, now. Go on!" Larry punched in his personal code to unlock the door. He motioned with his arm for Joel to enter. "In ya' go!"

"Shouldn't I grab a broom or something?"

"What? Oh, uh, sure... Just hurry, will ya'?" He started wringing his hands together nervously.

"Okay." Joel went to the large storage closet where he kept most of his cleaning supplies and a few unfinished prototypes. He grabbed a large accordion with the hose and nozzle of vacuum cleaner attached at its side. He returned to Larry with the odd contraption slung over his shoulder. "Here we are. It's not a broom, I'll admit it, but it'll get the job done." Joel proudly displayed his latest work. "You see, what this is-"

"Yeah, yeah! That's great, just uh, you know, get to work and stuff. Now!"

"Oh, okay." Joel walked through the doorway, which Larry promptly relocked, and toward the towering, unguarded satellite on the launch pad. He stared in awe at the magnificent structure that was painfully designed from the mind of man. He looked over his shoulder and saw Larry anxiously watching him through the glass window of the now locked door. "Uh, how do I get in?"

"The ladder! Use the ladder!" Larry pointed to an improbably tall, red ladder precariously leaning against the satellite. At the top of the ladder Joel barely made out the outline of the distant large door on the side of the massive craft.

"Okay! Thanks!" Joel waved politely to Larry through the glass.

He adjusted the mandatory hardhat on his head and repositioned the accordion device over his shoulder as he began the perilous climb up the ladder. He glanced down at his watch and began timing how long it would take him to reach the top. After two minutes he finally made it to the top of the ladder and to the large entrance door on the side of the satellite. He climbed inside the complicated space craft with a heavy sigh and began his task.

* * *

From the deepest bowels of Gizmonic Institute, its deepest basement; aptly named 'Deep 13', Dr. Clayton Forrester and Larry were watching Joel on a monitor connected to the hidden security camera mounted on the far wall of the launch pad.

Dr. Forrester was standing tall with his arms crossed in defensive, impatient manner over his neon green lab coat. "Well, Larry... Does our little 'space monkey' suspect anything amiss?"

"No Clay, everything's going according to plan!" He joined his boss at the monitor, standing behind his right shoulder.

"Good!" He pressed a button that remotely sealed the door of the satellite. He then turned and leered at his weasely associate. "Prepare the launch sequence, I'll throw the switch!"

"Right-O!"

Larry walked over to a large computer on the far wall and punched in a series of numbers on the worn out keyboard. As soon as he pressed 'Enter' a red light began flashing over the launch pad, and a warning buzzer sounded off.

"Hey Clay! We're good to go!"

"Excellent!" Dr. Forrester opened a control panel box revealing a large switch contained inside. He threw the switch with a twisted grin and braced himself as the satellite began its rapid, violent launch. From the doorway a plume of thick smoke billowed outward, covering the launch bad in noxious fumes; as the exterior faux building that encased the satellite opened up, allowing the ship to ascend. "Next: World domination..."

* * *

Unknowingly trapped aboard the satellite with no idea of the fate that awaited him, Joel found himself suddenly being rocked back and forth as the ship broke free of Earth's gravity, and entered is preprogrammed geosynchronous orbit around the very Earth he once called home.

Joel was thrown from his feet and fell against the fixed desk in the middle of the bridge. The last thing he saw was his yellow hardhat rolling away as he fell unconscious on the cold, metallic floor.

_**...to be continued...**_


	3. Welcome to the Satellite of Love

Through the monitor's grainy, mute footage Dr. Forrester and Larry watched as the Satellite of Love stabilized itself after the initial take off. It settled with no disturbance in its preprogrammed geosynchronous orbit around the Earth.

Dr. Forrester removed his glasses and wiped the lenses on his lab coat. "Everything is going to plan Larry. Now, I need you to thumb through the 'bad' movie library and find a puke-inducing film for our orbiting lab rat." He walked toward the elevator doors. "I need to make sure our little experiment went undetected by the lesser minds on the higher floors."

"Hey Clay, why'd ya' wanna' shoot that nobody into space anyway?"

Turning around in the elevator to look at his assistance, he spoke in a flat, serious tone as he pressed the floor button. "Simple. I didn't like him!"

"Oh! Good. Me neither!" He laughed in a stuttering, coughing manner.

"Oh, shut it Larry. Find the movie and file it for me."

The elevator doors shut, leaving Larry alone in Deep 13 as Dr. Forrester ascended to the top floor of Gizmonic Institute.

* * *

Joel Robinson, unwilling and untrained spontaneous astronaut, awoke on the cold metal floor of the bridge of his new home, the Satellite of Love. He pressed the heel of his hand to his head and felt a small trickle of blood from just above his left eye. "Ow, my aching noggin'!"

He untangled his legs which had been wrapped up and buried in a large pile of strange black coil that fell loose from the ceiling. He sat upright and looked around at the disheveled interior of the ship. "What happened?" Noticing through the large hexagonal window on the wall he noticed the beauty of unobstructed starlight shining through, he bolted toward the window and gazed into the vast abyss of the universe with absolute awe and fear. "What the heck?!" As soon as he saw the blue magnificence of the Earth below he understood his predicament. "I'm... I'm trapped! I'm trapped in space!"

As the reality of his situation set in he leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor. "I'm trapped in space. And I'm all alone! What's going on?!"

From out of nowhere a tape recorded voice started playing: "_Hello boobie! This is Dr. Clayton Forrester, your captor, your 'God' if you will..."_

"What the heck?" Joel forced himself to stand up and track down the source of the voice.

_"You're now apart of my experiment. It's truly an honor on your behalf to take part in such an event."_

Joel didn't like the sound of Dr. Forrester's tone. He finally tracked down he voice to a tape player tucked under the desk.

_"Now, you may be asking yourself 'Why me?' or 'Why am I here?' or 'Why didn't I see this coming?' It's all simple really, I'm smarter than you!"_

Joel was tempted to smash the tape recorder out of anger and frustration but his better judgment told him to wait and listen to the full recording. _Then_ smash it!

_"In five days the experiment will begin. This experiment in particular is to determine which of the hundreds of thousands of bad movies that have plagued cinemas the world over is truly the WORST. EVER. MADE. And you're going to find the worst film for me!" _ Maniacal laughter followed this bizarre sentence.

"Wait? How is finding the worst movie ever made-"

_"You're probably wondering how finding the worst movie ever made is a valid experiment or even an experiment at all. Allow me to explain:"_

"Okay."

_"By subjecting the worlds populous to the most mind numbing, soul crushing, heart breaking, emotionally traumatic film of all time, all those who witness the atrocity will be too depressed, too insane or just plain too bored to try and stop me from taking over the world!" _ More maniacal laughter follow.

"Finding the worst movie ever made is going to take some time. How long am I-"

_"As you may have surmised such an experiment will take some time to complete, lucky for you the Satellite of Love has been stocked with enough supplies, food and tube socks to last you about ten years. But by my calculations it should only take one year, so don't get too comfortable!"_

"Comfortable?" He looked around at the mess on the floor. "Not going to be a problem."

_"See you in five days. Until then, try and keep yourself busy my space cadet!" _ As the final bout of maniacal laughter filled out the remainder of the tape, _"Please flip tape to side B." _ The recorder clicked itself off.

Joel popped open the tape recorder and flipped the tape over as instructed and pressed 'Play'. _"Thank you. Now, in case you were getting any funny ideas of disobeying my orders, I will remotely shock you or turn off your oxygen supply until you decide to cooperate. It all really depends on my mood..." _ There was a brief pause before Dr. Forrester finished. _ "Anyway, these are your last five days of sanity until I get through with you! Make them last!" _

Again the cliché maniacal laughter filled in the tape, until Larry's voice suddenly popped in. _ "Hey Clay, did you want to order a pizza tonight or-"_

_"Larry! I told you never intrude when I'm threatening someone or writing a letter."_

_"Sorry Clay. Hey, is that thing still recording?"_

_"What? Aw... poopie!"_

The tape finished. There was nothing else recorded.

Joel took the tape from the recorder and bent it in half until the plastic casing snapped. "What a weirdo..." As the loose tape snaked over his hands an interesting thought popped in his head. "I bet I could use this for something." He looked around at the assorted bits and pieces of miscellaneous junk that littered the floor. His eye was drawn to the long black coil like cable. "And that! I bet I could use that."

As he piled the loose tape and bundle of black coils onto the desk, he looked over his shoulder at the large doorway that seemed to lead down a long corridor of some sort. "Hm, I wonder what else is in this ship."

Joel proceeded down the corridor, surprised to see six numerically labeled doors, each with its own design and theme, lining the hall. "Wonder what that's about?" He asked himself as he trekked down the hallway. As he came to the final door, labeled '1' he found himself inside a dark theater with a single row of seats. "Oh, it's a theater. Guess this is where the experiments are going to take place."

On the far wall of the theater was a gumball machine preloaded with assorted gumballs. The shape and design of the machine was too attractive to ignore. "Bet I could use that too!" He pried the machine loose from the tripod holding it upright. Exiting the theater, walking down the same length of corridor he used to enter, his eye caught the large film projector mounted in the projection booth almost level with the theater. "Hey, I bet I could use that too!"

With the gumball machine tucked under his arm Joel found the small door in the back of the theater that lead into the booth. Once inside he found the main projector, bolted in place and unable to be moved. "Hmm..." On a small metal shelf fixed to the wall he spied an old camcorder, computer memory boards, pipe insulation and some springs. "I can definitely use these!"

After gathering up his new supplies Joel returned to the bridge of the ship and put the collected items on the growing pile. "There's gotta' be more to this ship than just a bridge and theater." There was an adjacent corridor attached the to the bridge. "Well, let's see where this goes!"

This corridor wasn't lined with numerically labeled doors. It lead the way to several vacant but pre-furnished cabins and a large storage closet. Joel picked one of the cabins, mainly because of the connected bathroom. He took the soap dish from the sink and sat down on the bare cot. "Guess this is my room." He looked up at the single hanging light from the ceiling, specifically the lampshade. "I can use that too!" He pulled the lampshade free and returned to the bridge.

There was third corridor, one with a set of stairs that descended down into the lower portion of the ship. "Nowhere else to go." He dropped the lampshade and soap dish on the desk and proceeded down the final corridor.

This area of the ship was far more active and interesting. Aside from the large control room with displays, gages and meters monitoring every detail of the satellite's systems, there was a fully stocked kitchen or 'galley', a type of panic room and storm shelter, a laundry room, a sewing room, a library and most surprisingly a large game room at the rear of the ship.

Joel walked into the game room and stood with amazement. "A private bowling alley, a Ping-Pong table, a small racquet ball court and... Hey! Air hockey!"

As he took stock of the large room with a wide assortment of interesting objects. His creative eye carefully selected bits and pieces of various items to be used in his personal projects. "Let's see; a bowling pin, helmet, Ping-Pong balls... I can use these."

He left the game room and stopped by the laundry room. He used a clothes basket to hold his mounting supplies. There were two large dust pans in the corner of the room, which he added to the basket.

Stopping by the library he grabbed a few books to read in his seemingly eternal spare time.

Shortly there after he walked through the sewing room and found some large cans of spray paint. He grabbed the first colors that caught his attention: red, gold and purple.

Making his way through the panic room he grabbed a large flashlight, a barrel shaped container, several pieces of pre-molded spare molybdenum sheets and piping, and a large battery pack. "I can definitely use these." Thinking quickly he grabbed the toolbox and several extra batteries just in case.

With his laundry basket full of varying objects, composed of varying material, Joel returned to the bridge of the ship and put all the objects together in a large pile on the desk. He began meticulously placing each object on the desk and studied his gathered items as an artist would a blank canvas.

"Now... Let's see that I can come up with."

_**...to be continued...**_


	4. Gypsy

Opening the large black toolbox Joel sorted through the wide variety of tools and spare parts contained within. Inside he found multiple screwdrivers, pliers, wrenches, nuts, bolts, screws, springs, hinges, gears, cogs, switches, a soldering iron, a power drill, drill bits, a large sketchpad and several pens and pencils. "That's convenient." He spoke aloud to himself as he pulled out the sketchpad and began drawing several crude potential designs.

An alarm from the ship's heat sensor sounded off and a soft feminine voice from overheard issued a warning: '_Hull temperature dangerously high. Reposition heat shields immediately_.'

"Great, I have to go back down the control room." Dropping the pencil on the sketchpad Joel returned to the lower corridor that led to the control room. Eyeing the complicated sensor panels and displays, Joel finally found the necessary controls for the heat shields. Using the time old method of 'trial &amp; error' Joel was able to reposition the heat shields and the exterior temperature of the satellite fell to a safe degree. "Good. Back to the drawing board."

Returning to the sketchpad Joel finished his first crude design and began work on the second when another alarm sounded, with the same feminine voice reporting over the speaker. _'Oxygen mixture requires adjustment_.'

"This going to get really old, really fast! Some high tech machine! Can't even function without a human for more than two minutes..." Joel muttered to himself as he once again set foot in the complicated control room. After tinkering with the dials that controlled the oxygen levels and mixture the monitoring gauge read normal. "They need a machine to run this machine." It was then Joel had a brilliant idea. "Wait a minute, that's what I'm going to do!"

Joel grabbed the sketchpad and hastily drew a third image on a clean sheet in the pad. An odd contraption composed of several odd bits and objects from his collection were used an inspiration in the final design. The two dust pans were fastened together creating a beak like shape for a head and mouth, the large heavy duty flashlight was placed on top of the head to act as cyclopean eye, a piece of the loose insulation was attached to the opening to the mouth like a large lip, and a lengthy portion of the black coil attached to the bottom of the head as a neck and body.

"Shouldn't take too long to build." He held up his sketch and admired his finished drawing, then caught site of the complex yet delicate computer memory boards he'd have to install and program. "Programming on the other hand is going to take a while..."

* * *

Larry had been busily stocking the lab hidden away in the depths of Gizmonic Institute, the lab he and Dr. Forrester have named 'Deep 13'. Shelf after shelf was filled with canisters and video tapes of old, forgotten, atrocious films from the 50's through the early 80's. The growing film library towered over the shifty lackey as he evilly chuckled at his own wicked activity.

"Let's see... '_Gamera_', _'The Black Scorpion'_, _'Robot Holocaust'_, oh! _'Manos the Hands of Fate'_!" He seemed especially pleased by that little addition. "This is sure to drive Joel off the deep end!"

Dr. Forrester returned to the lab via their private elevator. He stepped out of the car with a sick grin. "Well Larry, everything's secured and we won't be having any problems-" Dr. Forrester was cut short when the cable that held the elevator car suddenly snapped and brought the heavy mechanical winch down on top of the car with a thunderous crash, as it demolished the recently vacated area.

"Well, Larry," Dr. Forrester continued. "we have only one problem to deal with, the broken elevator. Aside from that the 'know-it-all' big shots upstairs have no idea that Joel Robinson has been shot into space. Heck, they didn't even seem to notice a satellite launching in their own backyard!" He chuckled lightly.

Larry of course joined his superior in the laughter with his own distinct and annoying laugh. "Good one!"

"Shut it." He looked at their ruined elevator. "From now on we must use the secret entrance to get down here AND, this is a must mind you, you need to be discrete and occasionally disguised to avoid suspicion."

"Right!"

"How are we doing on the bad film library?"

"Real good! I got some classic 'stink burgers' lined up!" He laughed again.

"Good." He put his hand on Larry's shoulder. "Now, all we need to do is be patient and never do anything too drastic or lose our cool. We must also find a way to communicate with Joel aboard the satellite. The camera you installed are far too inferior to support long range communication."

"Oh. Sorry."

Dr. Forrester handed Larry a clipboard. "Here, file this and get out of my sight. I need a shower."

* * *

Joel had just finished applying the third and final coat of lavender purple paint on his latest creation. "Okay, looking good." He capped the spray paint and set it aside. "Let's see how you function."

Flipping on a power switch attached to the back of the odd contraption's head, the dormant flashlight turned itself on and the contraption began to move about on its own. The purple mechanism seemed to be looking around the bridge in a confused manner but it focused on Joel's face. It opened its mouth in an attempt to communicate, but the only sound it made was a pitiful whimper.

"Hi there!" Joel greeted his creation. "My name is Joel. I created you!"

"Joel?" The purple machine repeated in a strange falsetto voice.

"That's right. Joel." He gently put his hand on its head. "And I'm going to call you... 'Gypsy'!"

"Gypsy?" It repeated in the same odd voice.

"That's right. You're Gypsy and I'm Joel. We're going to be friends, okay?"

"Friends?" It repeated and paused before tagging on, "okay?"

"Okay?"

"Okay." It sounded less confused and more confident.

"Good, uh, girl."

"Girl?"

"Yeah, you're a girl. I think..." He hadn't put much stock into the idea of gender identifying his creations. "A fembot."

"Fembot?"

"Yeah, you know. A combination of the words 'female', meaning 'girl', and 'robot', meaning what you are."

"Robot?"

"Yes, Gypsy. You're a robot and my new friend."

"Friends with Joel?" She asked sincerely.

"Very good!"

Gypsy seemed more at ease as her programming kicked in and she was able to access information on Joel's terminology and understand what her creator was telling her. "Joel's not a robot?"

"No, I'm a human."

"Human?"

"That's right." He motioned with his arms for her to look at their environment. "And I'm the only human on this whole ship."

"Ship?"

"Yeah, our space vessel. It's call the 'Satellite of Love'."

"Oh." She continued looking around the bridge, scanning the intricate designs, details and functions that the ship both provided and required. "It's big."

"You're right, it is big; and I need your help to keep the ship working properly."

"Help?" She looked back at Joel.

"Yes. You see, it take a lot of work to keep the satellite operating safely and smoothly and I can't do it on my own. That's why I created you. I needed a friend to help me."

"How?"

"Well," He rubbed the back of his neck as he prepared to explain things to her. She, who was essentially a small child who was just beginning to understand the world around her, needed to be talked to as a father would a child. "I programmed you with the abilities to operate the higher functions on the ship so I don't have to. It's a much easier task for a robot to handle than a human. And I know you can do these things."

"I can?"

He smiled at her truly amazing childlike innocence and curiosity. "Yes. All you have to do is follow your programming and you'll know exactly what to do and when."

"Okay." She answered happily. "What does Joel need Gypsy to do?"

"Right now I need you to go to the control room, there's a map of the ship's layout already installed in your memory bank, and make sure the heat shields are in their proper place, make sure the oxygen level is balanced, check the power consumption and make sure the artificial gravity generator is working normally, and then I need you to come back to the bridge in case I need help making the next robot."

"Another robot?"

"Yeah, I need a way to communicate with Earth. Maybe I can send a distress signal to help us, and this new robot will provide the link between the ship and the Earth."

"Why do you want to go to 'Earth'?"

Joel made a mental note to include more information on Earth and the situation at hand in the memory banks of the next robot. "You see, Gypsy, Earth is my home. It's that planet right there!" He pointed out the window.

"Oh! It's so big and blue!"

"And I want to get back to Earth as soon as possible. And you're coming with me."

"Because we're friends?"

"Because we're friends." He confirmed.

"Okay. I'll go to the control room."

"Thank you Gypsy."

Just before Gypsy left the bridge for the control room she asked Joel one last question. "Joel?"

"Yes Gypsy?" He was at the desk already sketching out the designs for the next robot.

"Does Richard Basehart live on Earth?"

He looked up from the sketchpad and over his shoulder at Gypsy. "Yes, he does. Why do you ask?"

"I don't know. But I like him." She disappeared from the bridge and down the corridor, her long coil like body slithering out of sight.

"Richard Basehart?" Joel milled over the unexpected question. "Must be a glitch or... something."

He returned to the sketch to add the last details.

_**...to be continued...**_


	5. Cambot

Joel had just finished programming the memory bank and functions for his newest robot when Gypsy returned to the bridge. She was curious about Joel's activity and she was curious about the place he called 'Earth'. Quietly positioning herself at his side she decided to ask him about Earth. "Joel?"

"Yes Gypsy?" He answered as he finished securing a red light to the top of the newly built robot.

"What's it like on Earth?"

"Earth?" The question had an unexpected sense of nostalgia and wonder. "Huh..."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He put the screwdriver aside and gently laid the robot down on the desk. "It's just I've never had to describe the Earth to someone before."

"Oh."

Joel leaned back and stretched out his stiff neck. "Well, Earth is a place full of all kinds of people and animals..."

"People and animals?"

"Yeah, other humans, like me. And other living creatures like cats, dogs and whales."

"Oh. Is that all?"

"No, there's alot of unique locations on Earth that people enjoy visiting. Like going to the warm sandy beach or skiing in the snowy cold mountains. Some people like living in rural isolated areas and other people enjoy living in urban populated areas called cities."

"Cities?" Gypsy was asking questions while searching through her memory banks for images related to Joel's answers. "What's the best city?"

"Well, what a person defines as the 'best' or the 'worst' is going to be completely different from what another person believes. Personally I always enjoyed New York City. At least when it's warm. Winter in New York can be pretty intense."

"Winter? What's winter?"

"Winter is one of four season the Earth experiences every year. Winter is the coldest season, accompanied by snow, ice and wind."

"What about the other three seasons?"

"Spring follows winter and everything gets warmer and plants begin to grow again. Then there's summer and everything gets hotter and alot of people go on vacations. After that there's autumn where everything gets cooler and the leaves fall from the trees, and then everything comes full circle when winter comes back around."

"Oh. Does it get confusing?"

"No Gypsy. It's pretty easy to get used to." He yawned and leaned his head in his hands, his finger touching the small cut above his eye. "Ow, I forgot about that."

"What?" Gypsy got uncomfortably close to his face.

Joel gently pushed her back. "I got a small cut when the satellite took off and I bumped my head on the desk."

"What do you do now?"

"I need to go put a bandage on it."

"A bandage?"

"There should be on in the storage room." He yawned again as he made his way down the corridor. He looked down at his watch and noted the time. "Three a.m., no wonder I'm tired."

After stopping by the storage room and finding several boxes of band-aids, Joel returned to his cabin and bandaged the small cut using the mirror in the joined bathroom. "I guess I can finish working on the little robot tomorrow." He laid down on the cot and closed his eyes. "It's not like I have anything else to do now."

* * *

Back down in Deep 13 Larry was laying on a large pile of miscellaneous movies that had been long forgotten and a puddle of his own sleepy drool.

Dr. Forrester had returned to the lab in secret with a large cardboard box filled with science equipment and various weapons. He spied Larry asleep on the job. Dropping the box with purposeful 'thud', Dr. Forrester startled Larry awake. "Well, well, well..." He stared at his confused lackey.

"Uh, Dr. F!" Larry sat upright with a start, his glasses hanging crooked across his face. "I was, just, uh..."

"Save it Larry. I know what you were doing. I'm even inclined to forgive you, but only if you clean up this mess, arrange the contents of this box in alphabetical order, size and genre, AND file this," he pulled a clipboard out of the box and tossed onto Larry's lap. "your failure will be forgotten by this time tomorrow."

"Okay, yeah, sure." Larry looked at the task at hand. "I can do that."

"Good. It's late, I must get my beauty sleep. Take care of things down here and I'll see you in the morning." He stepped through the circular metal doorway and gave Larry one last order. "Bring donuts in the morning."

As soon as the coast was clear Larry tossed the clipboard aside and fell back onto the pile of films. In an instant he was back asleep, snoring loudly and drooling.

* * *

Joel was sleeping relatively well as the early morning hours gave way to noon. The cot was surprisingly comfortable and the satellite's functions hadn't required his attention ever since Gypsy was completed. As he opened his eyes it took him a moment to recognize his unusual surroundings and remember the events that had taken place. He sat up and swung his legs over the side of his cot as he rubbed at his face. "I remember now. Still in space."

Gypsy, who had been monitoring the activity on the satellite all night and morning, found her way to Joel's cabin. She knocked on the door with her head. "Joel?"

As soon as he heard her unique voice Joel remembered building Gypsy and remembered that there was a second robot that he still needed to complete. "Come in Gypsy."

The purple robot slithered into the cabin and looked at Joel's face. "You look sad."

"Not sad, just a little homesick."

"Homesick? You mean Earth?"

"Yup."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He patted her nose. "It's not your fault I'm stuck up here."

"Can I do something to make you feel better?"

"No, it's fine."

"Are you sure? I could make you a sandwich!"

"No, Gypsy I-" It jut registered with him what she had said "Wait, you know how to make sandwiches?"

"Uh-huh. I combed through my databanks after you left and I found lots of yummy recipes and discovered that I can synthesize alot of different material!"

"Really?" Joel was completely amazed by her revelation. "Like what?"

"All kinds of stuff. Watch!" After a briefly awkward moment of silence she opened her mouth and coughed out a white t-shirt. "See?"

"Yeah, I see..." He picked the shirt up off the ground. "That's incredible Gypsy! Think you could create a pair of reading glasses?"

"Reading glasses?" She scanned her databanks. "I can try." Another brief pause and she opened her mouth dropping a pair black framed reading glasses into Joel's hands.

"Wow." He used the white t-shirt to wipe off the lenses and tried them on. "Not my prescription, but still a very handy skill. Thanks Gypsy."

"You're welcome."

"You know, I am kind of hungry. Could you-"

"Yup!" She sounded more than happy to accommodate her new friend as she quickly exited the cabin. "I'll be in the galley!"

"Maybe things won't be so bad." Joel took off the glasses and looked over the t-shirt. "Gypsy sure is helpful. She even knows my size!" Unzipping his jumpsuit to his waist Joel took of his worn and dirty black t-shirt in favor of the new white t-shirt. "Better go finish the new guy."

While Joel resumed work on the bridge Gypsy arrived with a plate in her mouth. On the plate was a sandwich and inside her mouth was a can of soda. "Here. It's tuna fish."

"Thanks." He took the items from Gypsy. "You're a big help."

"I am?"

"Uh-huh." He nodded as he bit into the sandwich. "This is good too."

Gypsy laughed a little. "Thanks. I'm going to check on the control panels."

"Okay, see you later." Joel casually waved to her as she slithered off the bridge. "As for you..." He picked up the partially finished robot from the desk. "just a few more adjustments and you should be patched into the satellite's communication console."

The robot had a somewhat similar design to Gypsy. Two large plates, fastened together like a beak, acted as its head where housed a circular myopic camera lens. The bottom of the beak was attached to a long metal coil that contained the numerous wires that connected its body to the satellite's main visual feed. On top of the beak was the red light that would indicate when it was recording any footage.

"Okay. Everything looks good. Let's see how you function." Joel located the power switch at the base of its head. He flipped the switch on and watched as his newest contraption came to life.

The robot made whirring and clicking noises as its functions came to life. Looking around the room with its camera lens the robot focused on Joel's face.

"Hi there. I'm Joel. I built you."

Instead of answering Joel as Gypsy did the robot merely nodded its head in the affirmative.

"You understand me?"

It nodded again.

"But you can't speak?"

This time the robot shook its head left and right to answer 'no'.

"I'm sorry. I guess the speech software isn't compatible with your system."

The robot seemed to bow its head in sorrow.

"But that's okay! We can still understand each other, right?"

The robot nodded its head again.

"Great! Listen little guy, I need your help. I have you connected to the satellite, this satellite," he motioned with his arms indicating the entirety of the ship. "called the Satellite of Love and I need you to send a transmission to Earth. Can you do that?"

Nodding again the robot established a link between the Satellite of Love and any receiving satellite dishes on Earth. Joel eagerly stared at the blank communication monitor, waiting for someone, anyone to respond.

* * *

Dr. Forrester had just arrived in Deep 13 and found Larry, once again, sleeping on the floor.

"Larry!" He kicked him in the ribs. "Get up you lazy doofus!"

"Oh! Dr. Forrester, back so soon?"

"Larry, it's past _noon_! What in blazes did you do all night?"

"Well, I..." He stalled trying to find a plausible excuse when he noticed that their communication monitor was flashing. "Hey, look!" He pointed at the blinking red light.

Dr. Forrester, more curious than worried, pressed the button and allowed the incoming transmission to go through. "Hello? This is Dr. Forrester, who's calling?"

"Dr. Forrester?!" Joel couldn't believe who he was seeing on the monitor. "How did you intercept our communication?"

"Joel?" Dr. Forrester flashed a sinister grin. "So you tried to send a distress signal, did you?" He laughed, obviously bemused by his own observation. "Fat chance! The only satellite dishes on Earth capable of direct communication with the Satellite of Love are the satellite dishes that** I** built!"

Feeling discourage Joel bowed his head in defeat.

Dr. Forrester looked at Larry over his shoulder. "Good work Larry, you fixed the communication functions with the satellite."

"I did? I mean, yeah, I did!" He laughed annoyingly at the falsely earned praise.

Joel overheard the conversation and looked up. "Wait, no he didn't! I established contact with Gizmonic Institute with my new camera... robot..."

"Camera robot?" Dr. Forrester was confused.

"Yeah, Cambot! His name is Cambot!"

"Cambot? Hmmm..." He looked at Larry. "I think Joel is already going insane. Which means our little experiment is off to a great start."

"I'm not insane!"

"But you've established a friendship with a robot. How odd." He smirked a little. "In fact, how _sad_!"

"Hey, it's not sad. Being an oddity doesn't bother me, as long as I'm a thought provoking one."

"Be that as it may, you're still going to participate in our experiment and there's nothing you can do about it!" He and Larry laughed maniacally together as the oh-so devious thought of Joel going insane was too entertaining to ignore.

Joel had heard enough. "Okay Cambot, that's fine. Turn it off."

The newly dubbed Cambot did as he instructed.

"Thanks, you did good. But now we need to try something new and better." Joel picked up his sketchpad and the pencil. "Cambot, could you record the next build for me please? I want to keep it for posterity."

_**...to be continued...**_


	6. Crow

Gypsy and Cambot watched quietly as Joel began work on the third little robot in his growing crew. Unlike Gypsy and Cambot before Joel spent a significant amount of time working on the software to uploaded into the third robot. Gypsy could communicate but it was a little difficult to understand her and poor Cambot's speech functions failed to initiate at all. This time there would be no errors; no detail would be overlooked and compatibility issues would not be a problem.

The day slowly went on without incident, but being indefinitely marooned in space made all time meaningless to Joel.

"Okay, this should do it." Joel finished programming the last of the computer memory boards and software. "Cambot, can you get a close-up on this for me?

Zooming in on the completed pile of hardware and the sketchpad filled with notes and small images, Cambot recorded the information and stored it in his memory banks.

Afterward Joel proceeded to carefully split open and hollow out the bowling lengthwise. Fastening a hinge onto in the interior of the bowling pin where it had been cut into two pieces allowed the pieces to connect and disconnect like that of a human jaw. A rod of pure molybdenum was inserted into the bottom of the bowling pins cleverly created 'jaw' to act as a neck. Next Joel took the small soap dish he found on the bathroom sink string two wires and pneumatic hinge through the dish, then inserted a bolt through a small hold drilled on its bottom that connected it with the top of the molybdenum rod.

Sitting back Joel stretched out his stiff neck. "Now, I need to the ping pong balls. Is the paint dry?"

"Yup." Gypsy had been monitoring Joel' progress. "The installed microchips are working as well."

"Good." Using surgical precision Joel hooked the wires to the microchips inside the ping pong balls before attaching the small objects to the hinge. "Now it has eyes."

"It?" Gypsy was confused by the term since Joel had already referred to herself and Cambot with genders.

"Sorry, 'him'." Just then a mischievous smile came across Joel's face. "Well, maybe..."

"Huh?"

"Nothing. Just a very interesting idea popped in my mind."

"Oh."

Joel put aside his tools and the partially built robot and finished the final details on his latest sketch. He held the completed image up for Gypsy to see. "Gypsy, can you scan these images and synthesize them using molybdenum?"

"Yup." Gypsy easily scanned the images into her databanks and proceeded to create the requested items. "It'll take a few minutes."

"That's okay. I need a little break anyway, my neck is getting stiff."

* * *

Down in Deep 13 Larry was busily organizing the bad movie library that Dr. Forrester insisted on having fully stocked at all times. He had been working on organizing the towering metallic shelves that were hidden away in a secret vault. Old film canisters and VHS tapes were perfectly aligned in alphabetical order, to make it easier for movie selection. Miles upon miles of artistically butchered film were contained within the enigmatic lab, deep below Gizmonic Institute.

"Larry, how's the movie library progressing?" Dr. Forrester walked into the room to assess his lackey's work.

"Uh... Okay I guess." He wiped sweat away from his brow. "Can I take a break? You've been working me like a dog and now I'm sweating like one!"

"Dogs don't sweat Larry."

"Oh. Lucky them, they save a ton on deodorant!" He annoying laughed at his own dumb joke.

"Shut it... Wait a moment." He put his hand on Larry's shoulder. "That gives me an idea!" He wrung his hands together enthusiastically. "Keep working, I have some tests to run..." He slunk out of the vault and back into the lab.

"Aw man!" Larry looked at the many boxes that he still had to unpack. "This job is starting to suck!"

* * *

"Finished!" Gypsy announced as she coughed up the newly synthesized parts onto the desk.

"Thanks Gypsy, these look perfect." Joel had quickly gotten used to her methods of creating and delivery items. "I can finish his design now!"

One of the items she created was a large, stout, black cylindrical object that he placed between two pre-molded molybdenum sheets and soldered the three pieces together, forming a humanoid upper body. Two holes had been cut through the center of both sheets and Joel was able to easily secure the molybdenum rod through the holes and finished constructed upper body.

"There! He's looking a little more complete." Joel admired the work and detail he had put into the third robot. "Hopefully he'll function properly so I don't have to take him apart and start all over again. Not that I have too much to do these days..."

Next Joel took a cylindrical shaped piece of molybdenum and soldered it to the base of the upper body, and attached a second slightly smaller cylinder to the bottom of the first, giving the robot a torso.

Gypsy had been fascinated by Joel's work and monitored his movement very closely. "Wow Joel, he looks kind of like a human."

"You think so? I think he looks kind of blocky still. Maybe after I added his arms and legs it'll look better."

"I think he looks good."

"Thanks Gypsy." Joel resumed his work. He took the spare molybdenum rods, eight in total, and used a hinge to act as a joint to connect the rods together, two at a time. He bent and stretched the makeshift arms and legs to ensure that the joint would hold properly. Taking the remaining bits that Gypsy had synthesized, Joel attached two flat supports to the end of the two longer limbs, creating 'feet'. Shortly there after he attached the legs to the torso with hinges.

"His legs are in place." He commented to himself as he proceeded to thread wires down into the legs and up into the middle of the somewhat opened torso. "Now for the arms.

Mirroring the same act Joel attached two claw like appendages to the ends of the arms, then soldered the arms to their own separate shoulder joint, which was then bolted into place. The shoulders were positioned between the two molybdenum plates that created his upper body. After threading the wires through the arms toward the torso it was time to insert the computer memory boards and activate the robot.

"Okay now, if I attach the lead of the wires here..." He spoke aloud because it help himself concentrate. "here... here... and here!" The wires were in place. "He should be able to have full range of movement in his limbs. His fingers were on the power switch, located in a secret area known only to himself. "But it feels like there's something missing..."

Gypsy and Cambot examined the newest robot curiously. While Cambot had little to say Gypsy had a keen observation. "His head is kinda boring."

"Boring?" Joel asked as he examined the robots head.

"Yeah. Like he's... what's the word? 'Bald'?"

"Bald? Wait a minute, you're right! And I know just what to do." Joel returned to his collection of odd items and found the helmet. He pulled the face guard free and positioned on the top of the robots head. "What so you think?"

"I like it!" Gypsy praised.

"And yet... something is still missing." Joel noted as he attached the face mask, the 'net' to the robots head.

It was then Cambot knocked over the can of gold spray paint. It rolled toward Joel's arm and bumped his elbow.

"Paint! Of course!" Joel picked up the can and shook its contents. "Great idea Cambot!"

Cambot chirped as if he were happy in response to Joel's praise.

Joel uncapped the paint and covered his mouth with his right arm. "Stand back you two, I don't want you gets to paint on yourselves."

Gypsy and Cambot positioned themselves at a safe distance from the paint can as Joel began spraying.

* * *

Dr. Forrester returned to the film library where Larry was now sitting on a box looking completely tired and hot. "Good news Larry, my newest invention is underway."

"Great!" Larry remarked flatly. "_Now_ can I take a break?"

"Soon, Larry. Soon." Dr. Forrester looked down at a clipboard he was holding in his hands. "I had an interesting idea while I was running tests. We are completely capable of observing Joel through video footage, but how can we monitor what's actually going on inside the man's mind? After all, he may try to feign sanity as a feeble attempt to spare mankind and stop our world domination."

Larry shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know Clay, what can we do to keep track of his sanity?"

"Simple!" He dramatically pointed his finger at his colleague. "Every week we demand that Joel demonstrate for us a new invention of his own creation. We will present our own invention of course, but ours will merely be a ruse to cover our true intentions."

"What exactly_ are_ our true intentions?"

"Why, monitoring his mind! Duh!"

"Oh, right. That was dumb."

"Yes it was. Now, finish with the library will you? I have to get home and feed my fish."

"Sure, no problem..." He lied.

* * *

The paint had dried on the newly created robot and Joel was eager to switch it on. "You recording this Cambot?" He asked the quiet camera robot as he took a piece of black, rubber shock spring and wrapped it around the base of the now golden robot's neck.

Cambot nodded its body up and down in the affirmative.

"Okay, here we go!" Joel flipped the power switch from 'off' to 'on'. He also swatted the back of the robots head for good measure.

The golden robot turned its head slightly from side to side as it poorly mimicked a newborn baby's cry.

"That's not right." Joel swatted it again.

"Ow! What was that for?" The golden robot responded somewhat angrily.

"Hi there. That was just sort of a reflex, it's a human thing."

"Human?" He looked Joel up and down. "You're a human?" He then looked over at Gypsy and Cambot.

"That's right, my name's Joel. And you're a robot just like them. You're our newest friend. I'm going to call you... Crow!"

"Crow? I like it! But what kind of name is 'Crow'?"

"Well, it's an acronym for 'Cybernetic. Remotely. Operated. Woman'."

"Woman?!" He looked around the bridge of the ship anxiously. "I'm a woman?!"

"Well, actually you're a hermaphrobot since I ran out of parts..." Joel lied playfully.

"What?! Then get the right parts man!" Crow started hyperventilating a little in his unexpected panic.

"Easy, little guy. I was joking!" Joel put his hands his shoulders to calm him. "Crow just means 'Crow', it's okay."

"So... I'm not a woman?"

"Nope."

"Oh good, I have no sense in fashion!"

Joel laughed at his new friend's humor. "Now Crow, let me tell you about what's going on."

"Alright, I'm listening." He was looking around the bridge of the ship curiously but would occasionally glance up at Joel.

"I'm Joel, as I already told you and this is Gypsy..." He put his hand on her nose.

She offered Crow a shy. "Hi."

"Hi." He replied unimpressed.

Joel continued. "And this is Cambot..." He pointed toward the recording robot.

Crow repeated his "Hi." while Cambot nodded.

"And this..." Joel motioned with both of his arms to he entirety of the ship. "is the Satellite of Love. Where I'm trapped."

"Trapped?"

"Yeah, a couple of mad scientists launched me into space and they said they're going to make me watch bad movies."

"Why?"

"I think they want to drive me insane and then use the movie that broke my sanity to try and conquer the Earth."

Crow was a little confused by Joel's laidback demeanor but didn't question it. Instead he commented on the evil scheme itself. "Not a bad plan."

"What do you mean not a bad plan? He wants to take over the Earth?"

"What do you care? You said we're in the Satellite of Love, what's Earth got to do with anything?"

Joel rubbed the back of his neck as he tilted his head in a slightly flummoxed manner. "Well, my little gilded friend, Earth is my home. My real home! I'd like to get back to Earth as soon as possible and stop Dr. Forrester and Dr. Erhardt's plan before it even begins!"

"Oh..." Crow still sounded unimpressed. "Where is Earth anyway?"

"Closer than you think."

"Huh?"

"Look out the window." Joel pointed him toward the large hexagonal window on the wall.

Crow, still getting used to his lanky body, clumsily made his way toward the window and peered out. "That giant blue thingy is Earth?"

"Yes it is."

"If it's _right_ there, why can't you get back to it?"

"Because I won't be able to survive the extreme cold or vacuum of space long enough to burn up in the Earth's atmosphere upon reentry."

"And that's a bad thing?"

"Yes Crow, that's a bad thing."

"And why am _I_ here?"

"I didn't want to be alone so I built you and Gypsy and Cambot so I wouldn't get lonely."

"Is that all?"

"No. Gypsy controls the higher functions on the ship and Cambot provided a connection between the satellite and the Earth."

"What about me? What do I do?" He was almost whining.

"You get to help out when needed, but for now you're just someone I can talk to."

"Oh. Fun for me. So... Now what?"

"Well, I guess you and Gypsy and Cambot should find a vacant cabin on the ship to call your own. I already have mine."

"We get our own rooms?"

"Yeah, does that surprise you?"

"Not really."

"Okay then."

Gypsy nudged Crow's shoulder with her nose. "I'll show you around."

"Okay." Crow followed Gypsy as she lead the way down the corridor. "Hey what's with your voice?"

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing! Nothing... It's uh... unique."

"Oh, thank you!"

As his latest creation was escorted about the ship and began familiarizing himself with his new and strange environment, Joel flipped over to a fresh sheet of paper in the sketchpad and began drawing a fourth (final) robot design. Creating Crow took alot of detail and time, so he decided that the last robot would have a simpler design.

Sketching out a basic shape and slowly adding details another interesting thought popped in Joel's head. "I wonder if I should give this one freewill or not..."

_**...to be continued...**_


	7. Servo

Joel sensed someone standing really close to him and sensed something uncomfortably close to his face. He opened one blue eye to see Crow's golden face staring at him, his beak just millimeters from Joel's nose. "Gah!" He sat upright with a start. "Crow! What're you doing?"

"Watching you... what's the word Gypsy used... uh... 'Sleep'! I'm watching you_ sleep_. You're weird."

"_I'm_ weird?!"

"Yeah, who uses a pad of paper as a pillow?"

Joel had fallen asleep on the desk of the bridge. The sketchpad left smudges of graphite on the side of his face. Using his sleeve he wiped at his face. "How long have I been asleep?"

"I dunno."

"How long were you watching me?" He rubbed his tired eyes as he spoke.

"About six hours."

"Six hours? Why were you watching me sleep anyway?"

"You were making strange sounds and it looked like you were moving but you weren't moving. I don't get it."

"That's called 'breathing' Crow, all humans and all multicelled organisms for that matter, breathe."

"Oh."

"You're not going to make a creepy habit out of watching me sleep, are you?"

"I don't know. Depends on how bored I get I guess." Crow looked at the smeared image on the sketchpad. "What's that?"

Joel was now fully awake thanks to Crow. "That's the next robot." He used the pencil's eraser to clean up the smudged image and held it up for Crow to see.

"ANOTHER one? Three isn't enough?" He stared at the odd image briefly.

"Well, Gypsy is busy taking care of the ship's main functions..." He looked around the bridge. "Where is she by the way?"

"In the control room. She said something about keeping the oxygen flowing, or not flowing, I wasn't paying attention..."

Joel chose the optimistic outlook and continued. "As I was saying, Gypsy is busy taking care of the ship, Cambot is chronicling everything that happens up here and you... Well..."

"Well what?"

"Well, I'm not sure what you can do that the others can't. But I don't want you to feel left out or to get lonely."

"Lonely? Why would I get lonely when you're around?"

"Sometimes I may want to be alone, not that I don't already enjoy your company, but sometimes humans want to be left alone. Strictly a human thing!"

"So this new robot is going to be my friend?"

"OUR friend." Joel corrected.

"Right!" Crow replied coldly. "Like I could ever put up with another robot."

"We'll see about that." Joel voice had a note of humor as he picked up the gumball machine that had been sitting idle with the rest of the collected pieces.

* * *

Dr. Forrester returned to the bowels of Deep 13 wearing a fake handlebar mustache and a purple lab coat. After peeling the faux facial hair from his real facial hair, he casually took off the ironically ostentatious coat and through it across the lab. "Larry?" His lackey and cohort in the elaborate experiment was nowhere to be seen. "Larry! Show me your face!"

There was a loud crash from the vault hoarding the bad movie library, followed by a squealed utterance of 'Ow!'

"Larry?" Dr. Forrester slowly opened the slightly ajar vault door. "Is that you?"

Inside the vault, laying on the ground, wrapped in an ever expanding sea of loose film strip was Larry. He looked up at his superior through his crooked and fractured glasses. "I tripped."

"How many times?" He crossed his arms in defiant disappointment.

"Two."

"On purpose?"

"No!" He defended brazenly. "I mean..." He calmed his tone. "No."

"Good." He looked down at the strewn about mess. "You can clean this up later. For now we must make contact with Joel."

"Why? It isn't time for the experiment to begin yet!"

"No, and that's precisely why we must make contact."

"Huh?"

"The control readings Larry, the _control_."

"Oh, right."

Dr. Forrester made his way over the intricately designed control panel that allowed for transmissions, contact and general communication with the orbiting Satellite of Love. "Come in Joel! Where's my perky little space monkey?"

* * *

Back aboard the Satellite of Love Joel was busily connecting the wires to the proper computer boards that had been programmed and installed inside the newest robots body.

Above the bizarre doorway that lead into the theater, one of the three warning lights began flashing red. He didn't notice anything was amiss until Cambot started chirping at him.

"Cambot?" He looked up from the nearly completed robot. "What's wrong?"

Using his whole had Cambot motioned for Joel to look over his shoulder at the flashing light.

"What is that? Is someone trying to make contact?"

Cambot nodded quickly then switched on the live feed showing Dr. Forrester and Larry eagerly awaiting Joel's acknowledgement.

"Joel!" Dr. Forrester feigned his excitement upon seeing Joel's tried face. "There you are!"

"I thought you said I had five days before the experiments began! It's only been three days, what's going on?"

"Oh don't you worry your little head. Speaking of which, I would change that band aid if I were you, wouldn't want you to get an infection now would we?"

Joel absentmindedly began playing with the old band aid over his eye. "Can I help you guys with something or what?"

"Ah, yes." Dr. Forrester quickly shoved a clipboard with a blank medical chart mixed full of cliché and unusual questions, and a red pen into Larry's hands. "This is just a formality, but seeing as it's for science I need you to answer honestly."

"Just out of curiosity, what if I don't cooperate?"

"Then as I explained to you before I will turn off the oxygen or electrocute you."

"If I'm dead then how will you proceed with the experiment?"

Dr. Forrester was visibly rattled by such a logical question. Turning away from the camera he pondered a devious lie. "Then I guess I'll have to go with 'Plan B'."

"'Plan B'?"

"Yes. I'll simply irradiate the world's water supply and contaminate it with a mind control serum. Unfortunately many of the test subjects died after suffering... unfortunate... 'side effects'."

"Oh." Joel was certain that Dr. Forrester was lying, but he didn't want to take the chance and let billions of innocent people get hurt. "Well then, ask me the first question."

"Excellent! Larry, make a note of Joel's cooperation."

"Right." Larry scribbled something on the clipboard.

"Now," Dr. Forrester was ready to proceed with the questions. "Question 1: What is your full name?"

"Joel Robinson."

"No middle name?"

"What's my middle name got to do with the experiment?"

Dr. Forrester looked over his shoulder at Larry, who just shrugged in response. "Fair enough. Okay then... Question 2: How old are you?"

"I'm twenty-eight."

"Question 3: How tall are you?"

"Uh... Just under six feet, I think. And before you ask, I have no idea what my exact weight is."

"Skipping Question 4, Question 5: What is your blood type?"

"I have no idea."

"Question 6: Are you pregnant?"

"What? No! Shouldn't that be obvious!"

"Question 7: Have you ever been preg..." He cleared his throat. "Moving on, Question 8: When was the last time you were abducted by aliens?"

"Uh... I don't recall."

"That's not a good sign. Larry, make a note of it."

Larry silently did as he was instructed.

"Question 9: Have you ever had a compulsion to strip down to your 'skivvies' and howl at the moon?"

"No." The questions were starting to annoy Joel and it carried over in his voice.

"Final question for the day, Question 10: Do you now or have you ever had delusions of grandeur associated by late night vigilantism?"

"Not since I was nine."

"Alright 'boobie', this is all I need. For now. Go back to... whatever it is you're doing to pass the time."

Larry cleared his throat and gave Dr. Forrester a look that screamed 'Don't forget!'

"Oh, one last thing. Before the experiment in two days time, I would like you to present me with an example of your daily activity or hobbies while isolated. It could prove useful to identifying the truly worst film of all time."

"Yeah, sure. I guess I can do that."

"And I DON'T want to see those robots! I want to something NEW. Got it?"

"I got it! Geez!"

"Right. Ta-ta for now!" He pressed a button on the control panel effectively severing contact with Joel and the Satellite of Love.

Crow walked onto the bridge and looked up at Joel. A ginormous wad of bubble gum was lodged in Crow's beak. "Who was that dickweed?"

"That was Dr. Forrester. And where did you learn that word?"

Crow smacked the gum a couple times before answering. "I've always known it, I guess I learned it from you!"

"Oops. Oh well." He looked down at Crow. "You know, when I said you could have the bubble gum from the machine I didn't mean you could eat it all at once!"

"Well I did."

"Did you share any with Gypsy?"

"She didn't want any."

"Crow? Are you lying to me?"

"No..." There was deception in his tone.

"If you are lying to me and I find out, I'm going to have to punish you." Joel spoke in a 'dad-voice', a talent he didn't know he had.

"Maybe?" Crow changed his answer.

Joel just sighed and resumed his work on the fourth robot. "Please don't lie to me again Crow. I don't appreciate it."

"Sorry Joel." Crow replied sincerely.

Picking up the industrial epoxy, which Gypsy had to synthesize earlier in the day while also creating other drawn and designed pieces from Joel's sketchpad, Joel attached the white lampshade the bottom of a metal barrel like base that would act as a body. Insulation foam was attached the bottom of the lampshade and six blackened plastic, oblong shaped weights were placed at equal paces around the lampshade to help keep it balanced. A powerful motor and fan blade like contraption, one of the many electric components Joe had tinkered with the night before, was installed inside the lampshade and connected the computer memory boards inside the barrel body.

"What's that for?" Crow had been observing curiously, but still denying any potential friendship with the new robot.

"I couldn't come up with a plausible leg design for him, so I installed a mechanism that will allow him to hover instead."

"What about his arms?"

"Well, since he was the last to be built I sort of ran out of parts that could be used as working arms."

"No arms?"

"He'll have arms, but they'll only have an aesthetic function, nothing practical."

"Like a tattoo?"

"Something like that!" Joel laughed a little.

With the body now completed Joel was able to easily attach two plastic molds, formerly light fixtures from the game room, to the upper part of the body. The 'shoulders' were in place, but needed the arms. Taking two small black plastic tubes Joel attached small white dummy hands, provided of course by Gypsy, and then attached the complete arms to the shoulders.

"Looks okay, I guess." Crow commented coyly. "Too bad his arms are kind of lame!"

"Yeah, I think I'll redesign them soon. The black tubing is just so 'blah'!"

"That all well and good, but where's his HEAD?!"

"Take it easy! I was about to install the wires and attach it." True to his word Joel took the gumball machine and threaded the wires from the body through a longer, wider black tube that would act as expandable neck, and secured the head to the end of the tube. Carefully Joel tucked the tube down into the body until the head was resting ideally just above the shoulders.

"Is he done?"

"Almost." The once mountainous pile of collected scraps was now only a few bits of plastic, spare bolts and batteries. Securing a high powered battery pack to a plastic support with two heat exhaust ports, the final piece of the robots design was finally in place on the finished design.

"Now?"

"Color." Joel grabbed the remaining can of spray paint, which was a candy apple red. "Stand back please."

Crow obeyed and smacked on his gum in the process before finally swallowing the whole wad. He gagged a little before adding. "That was a bad idea..."

With precise, careful motion Joel sprayed the robots body and the exterior casing of the gumball machine a vivid shade of red. "There. Cambot, do you have a good shot?"

Cambot nodded.

Joel laid the robot down on the desk, careful not to touch or smudge the drying paint and flipped on the power switch. He sat the robot back upright as the red robot started moving his head back and forth. Though he didn't have eyes like Crow or even Gypsy, he seemed to be able to see perfectly well. "Hello?" His voice sounded uncharacteristically deep for someone, or better yet, something so small.

"Hi!" Joel responded happily. He leaned down and whispered to Crow, "When I redesign his arms I'll change his voice, too."

"Good idea."

The red robot repeated himself "Hello? Who are you? Can you understand me?"

"Oh, sorry!" Joel apologized. "I'm Joel, I created you. This is Crow,"

"Hi." Crow responded quickly.

"And that's Cambot," Joel pointed at the recording robot.

Cambot nodded as his only means to acknowledge his new friend.

"And Gypsy's around here somewhere." Joel continued. "Welcome to the Satellite of Love, my new friend. I'm going to call you... Servo!"

"Servo?" Crow looked up at Joel. "What's that stand for?"

"Nothing. I just like the way it sounds."

Servo chimed in. "That's a _descent_ name, but I want something more robust! More manly! More... _me_..."

"Okay," Joel was really regretting giving the robots freewill at the point. "what did you have in mind?"

"Tom." He said proudly "I am TOM Servo! I like it!"

Joel just grinned at the absurdity his two latest robots seemed to share. "Alright, _Tom_ Servo it is."

"Hey!" Crow interrupted. "How come Servo got to pick his name and I didn't?"

Joel put his hand on Crow's net. "Do you want to change your name?"

"No, I like Crow. But I'm adding a last name!"

"What's that?"

"Robot! Crow The Robot. Crow T. Robot for sure!"

"Uh, uh huh..." Joel didn't think that was as original as Tom, but didn't say anything.

Servo looked at his two new companions with his invisible eyes. "Great! Now that we have that matter settled... what's the Satellite of Love?"

"Oh, well, it's not a long story, but it is weird." Joel replied sincerely.

"Sounds good to me. I like weird!"

Just the Gypsy appeared on the bridge to report to Joel on the satellite's condition. "Everything is running..." She noticed Tom. "Oh my! You're new!"

"Hey, how's it going honey?"

Gypsy just stared, as only she could, at the unfamiliar red addition to the crew.

Joel gave Tom a funny look. "Let me guess, that particular phrase was already in your databank."

"Yeah. So?"

"So that means I programmed it. You learned it from _me_!"

"And?"

"And this whole experience has been an interesting reflection of my own personality and sense of humor."

Crow asked a very intriguing question."Is that why I know a bunch of random catchphrases, characters and trivial details about television shows, movies and songs that I've never even seen or heard?"

"Yeah," Joel admitted, blushing a little. "I wanted to fill you guys in on Earth's pop culture. It'll be easier for you to fit in if we ever escape the satellite and get back to Earth." Joel fell silent for a moment as the prospect of returning to Earth weighed on him.

Crow looked around uncomfortably as an awkward silence overtook the bridge. "Is that a bad thing?"

"No, of course not. We _want_ to get back to Earth!"

"Then stop moping!"

"Right." Joel snapped back to reality and returned his attention to Tom Servo. "Anyway, Tom, let me fill you in on what's been going on and what is going to happen..."

Crow interrupted before Joel even began. "Hold on a second, can we have lunch first? I'm starving!"

_**...to be continued...**_


	8. Into the Mystery Science Theater 3000

Joel, Crow, Tom Servo, Gypsy and Cambot were sitting together in the galley of the Satellite of Love. The robots were eagerly devouring the sandwiches and cans of soda provided to them by Joel, while he just watched in amazement as his creations behaved very much like young children. Crow and Tom were busy making weird noises at each other and making a huge mess on the counter, while Gypsy and Cambot tried to keep a safe distance away from their carnage.

Crow had an idea for a prank and smeared a glob of peanut butter across Tom's dome, laughing at himself the entire time.

"Joel!" Tom whined. "Did you see what Crow did?!"

Before Joel could intervene Crow blurted out, "He sure did, but did _you?_"

"Joel!"

"Alright, that's enough." Joel grabbed some napkins so he could clean off Tom's dome. "No more."

Before he could get over to Tom, Crow had taken the opportunity to use his claw and create a generic 'smiley' face in the peanut butter on Tom's dome.

"Crow!" Tom complained again. "Joel! Do something! Stop him!"

Joel grabbed ahold of Crow's net and pulled him away from Tom, Crow sputtered out 'Owie, owie, owie,' during the moment. "Crow, sit over there in the corner."

"Why?"

"You're in time-out."

"I don't know what that is, but I don't like it!"

"Good. You're not supposed to." He proceeded to clean the peanut butter from Tom's dome. "Stay there for five minutes or until I say it's okay for you to leave."

"And if I don't?" Crow challenged.

"I created you, remember? So that means I can destroy you, too!"

Crow quickly took his seat in the corner. "I'll be good."

With his dome now cleaned off Tom was much happier. "Thanks Joel." He looked over at Crow. "Dink!"

"Dickweed!"

"Hey, come on. Let's get along." Joel looked around the galley. "Man, you guys made a big mess!" Empty wrappers, piles of peanut butter, crumbs, soda spills and used napkins littered the counter and the floor. "How'd you do all this in just a few minutes."

"I don't know." Tom responded while looking around at the mess. "We're gifted?"

Gypsy proceeded to wipe off the counter with a wet rag. "Don't worry Joel, I'll clean it up."

"Are you sure?"

"Yup. I can deal with this."

"Thanks Gypsy. I owe you!" Joel looked down at his watch, 2:30pm. "Hm, it's barely passed noon. Now what do we do? It's not like I have a schedule to keep anymore."

Tom had an idea. "Why don't you show us that movie theater you mentioned earlier?"

"Yeah!" Crow agreed from his corner. "I want to see it!"

"Alright. Let's go." He motioned for Tom, Crow and Cambot to follow him out of the galley and back up to the bridge of the ship. From there they'd be able to enter the enigmatic movie theater through the main door. "It's through here." Joel stopped in front of the large purple door with the Gizmonic Institutes (in)famous 'G' shaped gear logo painted over the entryway.

"What's the 'G' stand for?" Crow easily observed the lime green insignia over the lavender purple door.

"It's the logo for Gizmonic Institute. That's where I used to work. You know, before my bosses shot me into space."

"Right... Why'd they do that again?"

"I don't know. I guess they didn't like me."

"Harsh."

"Yeah... So, do you guys want to go inside or not?"

"Yeah!" The robots showed unexpected enthusiasm about seeing the theater.

Joel took the first step into the multi-themed and numbered and corridor that lead into the theater. Tom and Crow were following at his heels with Cambot holding his head high and documenting the moment just behind Joel's shoulder.

The interior of the theater was very dark, a small dimly lit white light from the rear of the theater, near the projection booth, cast enough light for the entering patrons to see the single row of seats. The row was positioned rather close to the large projection screen, ensuring maximum visibility. It was quiet inside the theater but it was comfortable. An air vent / heating grate at the entrance to the theater kept it temperature controlled and well ventilated.

Joel picked out a seat and sat down. "I guess this is where the fate of the world is going to be decided. From this seat, in this theater." He ran his fingers through his hair. "That's pretty heavy stuff..."

"Uh, Joel?" Crow had taken a seat at Joel's immediate right. "Tom is, uh, never mind!"

Tom had been struggling to lift himself over the vent, his hover skirt couldn't maintain proper lift, but he managed to finally get across; although with some great and somewhat embarrassing difficulty. "Thanks for the help guys!"

"You're welcome!" Crow quipped coldly, not empathetic to Tom's problem in the least.

Joel didn't say anything, he was too busy contemplating his role in the impending experiment.

Tom hovered up and took the seat immediately to Joel's left and sat in silence.

Cambot, who had been recording the event, positioned himself at an appropriate enough distance to capture his friends' silhouettes in front of the screen and capture the entire projection screen in a single clear image.

The three unlikely friends stared at the blank projection screen in absolute silence for several minutes. No one saying a word, no one moving.

Unable to stand the silence anymore, Tom spoke up. "Joel?" He turned and saw a blank look of inner turmoil on his friend's face. "You alright?"

"What?" He quickly looked over at Tom. "Yeah, I'm fine. I was just... thinking."

"About what?"

He sighed heavily. "Remember when I told you that Dr. Forrester is going to use me in his experiment?"

"Yeah?"

"The experiment that's supposed to help him take over the world?"

"Yeah?"

"The experiment that's supposed to help him take over the world by subjecting the world's populous to the worst film ever made?"

"Yeeeahhh?" Tom was growing impatient with the recap.

"Yeah? So that means if I break, if I'm actually driven insane by some awful movie then whole world is doomed!" He got really tense at the very thought. "I'd be a tool in the whole world domination scheme!" He face-palmed himself as the full weight of the situation finally hit him. "I have so much responsibility, I don't think I'll be able to handle it alone!"

"Relax Joel!" Crow interrupted Joel's near nervous breakdown.

"Yeah," Tom agreed with Crow's suggestion. "we won't let that happen!"

"How? What can you two do?"

Crow answered. "We can keep you from going insane by keeping you from losing your humor and uh... what's the other word I'm looking for? Help me out here Tom, keeping from losing his..."

"Lunch?"

"No."

"Marbles?"

"No, and that's an analogy for sanity anyway."

"Oh. Dignity?"

"No, I'm pretty sure he gave that up when he designed us."

"What about... hope?"

"Yeah! That's it!" He looked directly at Joel's face. "Joel, we won't let you lose _hope_!"

Joel laughed a little as he put his hands on his robots' shoulders. "Thanks guys. I appreciate it."

The trio sat in the dark theater for a moment longer, Cambot recording the calm moment for posterity.

"So, what do you guys think we should call this place?" Joel brought up an interesting question.

"What do you mean?" Tom didn't understand the question. "It's just a theater, what else do you call it?"

"I know, but I mean 'the theater' is just so boring. It needs something better, something more original." He finally relaxed a little in his seat. "Something that would be recognized by average people on the street and they would immediately think of this place without any confusion!"

"The 'space theater'?" Tom halfheartedly suggested.

"Oh, wait, the 'spooky theater'!" Crow offered, more passionately than Tom.

"What's so spooky about it?" Tom asked.

"It's in space, and in space no one can hear you scream!"

"Good one, Crow." Joel complimented the robot on his creativity. "What about the 'lost theater'?"

"As in 'Lost in Space'?"

"Exactly."

"I think that name's already taken." Tom remarked flatly. "How about the 'enigmatic theater'?"

"Too mysterious!" Crow commented.

"Wait," Joel liked the way that sounded. "'The _Mystery_ Theater'?"

"Say, not bad!" Tom liked it too. "But it needs a little something more, but what?"

"Well, the whole reason we're even here is because of an experiment. So... 'The Mystery Experiment Theater?'"

Crow disliked that name. "Nah!"

"Yeah, I agree with Crow. What about 'test'?"

"No way!" Crow spoke up again. "What about 'exam'?"

"No, that sounds like high school! It needs to be simpler, needs to be known yet thought provoking, you know, like science class!"

"Hey, that's it!" Joel really liked that suggestion. "It's the 'Mystery _Science_ Theater'!"

"3000!" Crow tagged on.

Tom didn't get the reference. "Where did that come from?"

"Everything that's mysterious or scientific has a number attached! Like: 'Hal 9000' or even just '2001: A Space Odyssey'!"

"Then it's settled." Joel had the final word on the discussion. "This is the_ 'Mystery Science Theater 3000'_."

_**...to be continued...**_


	9. Robot Roll Call

The cinematic trio, with Cambot recording their exit, left the theater and were walking down the eccentric numbered corridor that connected to the bridge of the Satellite of Love. Tom Servo was still curious about the bizarre situation that was inevitably going to take place the next day. He was also more worried about it than Crow, who seemed to take everything in stride.

"So Joel, the mad scientists, Dr. Forrester, and uh..."

"Dr. Erhardt." Joel finished for him.

"Right, they launched you into space because they didn't like you..."

"Uh-huh."

"And they're going to try to drive you insane with bad movies..."

"Right."

"And then they're going to use the worst movie you'll witness to drive the world insane so they can take it over. Right?"

"Right."

"That's all?" They reached the bridge and Tom hovered up onto the desk. "Is that really all they're going to do to you?"

"No." Joel mentally replayed the conversation he had with his 'evil overlords' just the day before. "They also want me to present them with odd contraptions I build during my exhile. You know, to monitor the overall health and stability of my mind."

"Oh."

Crow, who had been curiously checking out the bridge of the ship, looked his new friends up and down. "So, what did you build?"

"What?" Joel glanced down at the golden robot to his right.

"What did you build? The experiment begins tomorrow, so what did you make?"

"Riiiiiigght." Joel realized that he had spent all his free time building the robots to keep him company and exploring the ship, but didn't create anything to please the mad scientists who controlled his fate! "Uh, I'm going to start working on it, NOW."

In a controlled panic Joel began scouring the bridge for any object that could spark his imagination. As he ducked down and checked beneath the desk for some inspiration he was greeted by Crow poking his head down and watching his creator search. "Joel, whatcha' lookin' for?"

"An idea!" He voice was slightly stifled by the desk. "I need something I can work with and make it look good!"

"Oh. Sounds fun." He retreated from the desk comically.

Gypsy, who had finished taking care of the higher functions for the satellite, appeared on the bridge and noticed Joel digging around under the desk. "Joel, did you lose something?"

"No, but I am looking for something,_ anything_, that I can tinker with."

"Oh. Well, if you were looking for your vacuum cleaner thingy I put it in the storage closet on deck 4."

"My vacuum cleaner..." Joel stood up and put his hands on the desk. "That's it!" As he made his way toward the deck he patted Gypsy's nose. "You're brilliant Gypsy!"

"I am?" She asked innocently as Joel disappeared from sight.

* * *

Dr. Forrester walked into his secret lab known as Deep 13 with a sinister grin and leopard print hoodie, that only partially concealed his identity. "Oh, tomorrow's the big day!" He spoke aloud to himself. "This is going to be so cool!"

As he proceeded to remove his less than effective disguise Larry stumbled into the lab in a huff. "Oh, you're already here?" He looked disappointed to see his boss in the lab first. "Nice to see you..."

"Larry? What's going on?" He slipped on his neon green lab coat and eyed his lackey.

"Nothing, nothing... It's just... well..."

"Well, what? Spit it out!"

"I couldn't finish... I couldn't finish organizing the movies! I'm so sorry!" He fell to his knees and tugged at the fabric of the lab coat as he begged for mercy. I'm so sorry! Please don't punish me!" He pleaded.

"Oh, get ahold of yourself Larry! The experiment isn't until tomorrow, you have all night to finish organizing the films."

"I do?" He slowly rose to his feet.

"Yes. And then you'll be punished."

"Noooo!" He fell to his knees again.

"Don't weep Larry, you should be used to pain by now."

* * *

On the bridge of the Satellite of Love Joel had taken apart his special vacuum cleaner, one that he had designed himself, and was now creating a new contraption from its parts.

Crow curiously looked over the mess of parts on the desk before asking Joel an obvious question. "What's this pile of junk?"

"My latest creation." Joel answered dryly as his full concentration was on the creation at hand.

"What's it going to be?"

"You'll see."

The redesigned vacuum that Joel had brought onboard the S.O.L. with him, used to be an accordion that was retrofitted with vacuum cleaner attachments. Now it was in pieces all over the desk. The motor had been set aside while the rest of the object had been dismantled and redesigned completely.

Tom had been watching from afar, not wanting to accidently get mixed up in the spare parts. "Joel, have you completely lost your mind already?"

"No, of course not. What makes you say that?"

"Well, you're killing yourself to please the jerks who marooned you in space, instead of using your gift for tinkering to build an escape pod or something!"

Joel looked over at Tom. "I can't build an escape pod, that was one of the first things I thought of."

"Why not?"

"For one, I don't have the tools I need to create an airtight craft that could sustain life support long enough for me to return to Earth." He spoke while continuing to work vigorously on his current project. "Two, I would require heat shields to survive reentry into the Earth's atmosphere and the only heat shields available are currently being used."

"Then..." Tom continued to offer alternatives to Joel. "why don't you just NOT go into the theater?"

"Dr. Forrester would either turn off of the oxygen or abuse me with electrical shocks until I complied."

"Okay. Why don't you override Dr. Forrester's control of the ship?"

"Because my curious little friend..." He looked up from his project and back at Tom. "I used those special parts to create you. My robot friends."

"Oh..."

"Yeah. I've grown fond of you guys already, my little idiots of my own design."

"Hey!"

"And I don't want to take you apart."

"Thanks. I guess."

Joel stood up straight, the odd contraption before him starting to take shape. "Hey Gypsy, could you come here please?"

On cue Gypsy appeared on the bridge. "Yes Joel?"

"Could you take this," he held up the sketchpad with yet another crudely drawn image before her eye. "and synthesize it please?"

"Um, what kind of material?"

"Go with Gore-Tex, that should work just fine."

"Okay."

While Joel was waiting for Gypsy to produce the necessary item required to finish the invention, he looked around the bridge and noticed that Crow had disappeared from sight. "Hey, where's Crow?"

"Beats me." Tom replied coldly.

"Cambot, did you see where he went?"

Cambot shook his head 'no'.

"Hey, Crow?" He called out for the robot but was answered with silence. "Croooow?"

"I hope he isn't getting into anything toxic or flammable!" Tom quipped.

"That's it!" Joel announced. "I need to find a way to keep track of you guys."

"Like putting bells around our necks?"

"No, I was thinking more or less a type of roll call."

"A 'robot roll call'?"

"Why not? It's kind of catchy!"

Gypsy coughed up the synthesized product onto the desk. "Finished."

"Thanks Gypsy." Joel took the ovular shaped bag and attached several hoses and leads to it. "This is about done." He couldn't focus now, he needed to know where Crow was hiding. "Right now, we need to find Crow."

"Want me to look for him?"

"No Gypsy, just stay here. I'll look for him."

"Maybe he's in the basement."

"We have a basement?" Joel was genuinely surprised.

"Uh huh, he was heading that way earlier."

"Okay, thanks Gypsy." Joel decided that's where he was going to look. "Uh, where is it?"

"Check under the floor panels."

Joel used his foot to find the loose floor panel as indicated by Gypsy. He opened up the concealed entryway and slipped down the ladder into the basement. "Croooow?"

"Joel?"

"Crow! Where are you?"

"Over here!"

Joel followed Crow's voice. "Check it out! This is the lowest part of the ship!" Crow was laying on the floor in the corner. "If we dug through the floor..."

"We'd breach the hull." Joel kneeled down next Crow.

"Huh?"

"And we'd die."

"How?"

"You'd get sucked out into space and I'd suffocate from the lack of oxygen."

"Oh. So tunneling to Earth-"

"Is impossible. And a very bad idea, poorly thought out idea."

"Nothing's impossible Joel! Someday, someday soon..."

"No." Joel pulled Crow up from the floor and onto his feet. "Come on, I want you on the bridge."

"Okay..."

With the bots all accounted for and together on the bridge, Joel decided it was time to create the pondered roll call. "Gypsy, can you get me a clipboard?"

She promptly coughed one up and onto the desk. "Here you go."

"Thanks..." Joel wasn't expecting that. "Maybe we should take it easy on your synthesizer program, it might overheat and get damaged."

"Okay."

"Now..." Joel took the pen lodged in the top of the clipboard. "Robot Roll Call: Cambot?"

Cambot made a chirping sound to indicate his presence.

Joel wrote down and then checked off his name. "Gypsy?"

She nudged Joel's arm gently.

"Hey girl." He wrote down her name and put a check next to it. "Tom Servo?"

Tom dramatically hovered onto the desk.

"What a cool guy." Another name, another check mark. "Croooow?" Joel emphasized Crow's name again.

Crow appeared behind the desk.

"What a wisecracker." Joel finished writing down and checking off names on the clipboard. "Good, everyone's here. I think we should do this every morning. You know; keep a routine to help keep a sense of time."

"Whatever you say Joel!" Crow, like the others, had no strong opinion either way. "Now, what about this doohickey?" He nudged the partially completed invention with his beak.

"This is my latest invention. I'll unveil it tomorrow when the 'mads' call." He finished attaching the motor to the bizarre looking device. "They didn't say my inventions had to be practical, but hopefully it'll keep them off my back!"

"What's it going to be?" Crow didn't recognize the unusual design.

"It's the world's first electric bagpipe." Joel admired his creation for a moment before an interesting thought popped into his head. "Hey guys, check your databanks for the band 'Led Zeppelin', I have a fun idea..."

_**...to be continued...**_


	10. The Crawling Eye

Today was the day. The first day in the long list of experimentally horrible films that would be sent aboard the Satellite of Love. The first day that Dr. Clayton Forrester would try to drive an innocent man, Joel Robinson, insane! The first day that theoretically would lead Dr. Forrester down the path to world domination! It was a good day for Dr. Forrester and a bad day for Joel.

"This is it Larry!" Dr. Forrester was on the phone anxiously awaiting his lackey's arrival so they could begin the experiment. "Get your buns down here!"

"On my way Clay!"

"And don't forget the disguise!"

"I won't!" He hung up the phone.

"Now, to get that darn camera functioning properly." He tooled around and opened up the control panel on the camera's side. Inside the device was a glob of blue goop. "Is this Jell-O!?"

* * *

"Alright guys, today is the day." Joel was on the bridge standing behind the desk holding his clipboard with the 'Robot Roll Call'. "I'm sure the evil jerks below will be contacting us soon, so let's get everything ready: Robot Roll Call! Cambot?"

Cambot chirped to acknowledge his presence.

"Gypsy?"

Gypsy briefly appeared on the bridge before disappearing back in the ships corridors.

"Tom Servo?"

Tom hovered up onto the desk. "Check me out!"

"Croooow?"

"That's one 'o'!" Crow replied flatly.

Joel tucked the clipboard under the desk. "All present and accounted for. Ready to please our 'masters'?"

"No." The robots answered together.

"Good. Neither am I."

* * *

Dr. Forrester was adjusting the camera that connected Deep 13 to the Satellite of Love, when Larry came rushing into the lab.

"Clay! Clay! I think I was spotted on my way down here!

"Did you wear your disguise?"

"I was wearing my disguise but I'm just not very good in heels!" He whined nervously.

"No one must know we're down here doing this!" Dr. Forrester impatiently explained.

"I'm sorry..." He bowed his head in shame.

"It's time to call Joel about the experiment." With the camera already adjusted he simply pressed a button on the control panel to make contact. "Come in Joely-poley, puddin' and pie!"

From the bridge of the satellite Joel answered with confidence, Crow and Tom Servo standing alongside him at the desk. "Hey sirs, I'm ready for this week's 'invention exchange'." Reaching down to the floor Joel grabbed his latest, finished contraption. "Check this thing out!" He displayed it on the desk. "I just made it. It's the world's only electric bagpipe. Alright?" He turned it on.

The attached electric motor quickly filled the bag and Joel proudly held it up for all to see. In his own, crude rendition, Joel serenaded is captor's with the classic song _'Amazing Grace'_ as he used his arm to pump the bag as he tucked positioned it at his side. Crow and Tom joined him in song and started moving a little from side to side as if they were keeping beat with the music.

"Okay," Joel turned off the bagpipe. "and the robots and I have worked up a special cover version of Led Zepplin's _'Whole Lotta' Love'_. You ready guys?"

"Ready!" Crow answered quickly.

"One, Two, Three..." Joel counted down.

"Rock it!" Crow tagged on.

Joel started the song. "She's gotta' whole lotta' love!" He turned on the bagpipes and turned them off again.

The trio sang in unison. "A whole lotta' love!" The bagpipes were again switched on. "She's gotta' whole lotta' love!" The irritating sound of the bagpipes accompanied their vocals. "Really, a whole lotta' love!"

Joel turned off the bagpipes for the final time and looked at the monitor to see his captors' reactions.

Dr. Forrester was examining Larry, who seemed to be having some adverse reaction to the device. "I love it!" Dr. Forrester praised. "Look! Larry's corneas are bleeding!" He patted his lackey on the shoulder.

Larry shook his head and regained his composure.

Dr. Forrester resumed the invention exchanged. "Well, it's time we sent your our experimental nugget this week, Joel." He seemed enthusiastic about the moment. "Now, human under arm perspiration is something that happens to everyone after they go through puberty. Which I assume includes you, Joel!"

The evil scientists shared a moment of childish laughter at Joel's expense.

Getting back to the exchange, Dr. Forrester continued. "When's the last time you saw a dog sweat?" He turned to his lackey. "Larry?"

"Never!" Larry replied correctly.

"Exactly! And why is that?"

"Dogs don't sweat! That's why!"

"Exactly! Because of the dog's pineal gland. Nature's own canine-antiperspirant." Dr. Forrester was getting ready for the demonstration. "Now, you take the pineal gland and you make a serum! You take a dog, it doesn't matter what kind of dog and you inject that serum into a human subject!" He held up a syringe preloaded with the serum. "In this case, Larry!"

Larry was begrudgingly preparing for the injection. He dropped his pants and bent over.

Dr. Forrester looked for a good spot to inject the serum into. "Now, let's see... It's so hard to find a spot I haven't hit... Uh, what's this flower? And who's Roseanne?"

"Oh, just stick it! Will you?" Larry was both impatient and embarrassed.

"So long 'silver bird'!" He injected the serum into Larry's backside.

Larry shot upright in pain. "Oh! Geez!" He pulled up his pants.

"Now, instantly the serum races through the bloodstream like a Porsche-Targa 9-11! Commandeering each pore slamming it shut, like a vault at your favorite 'Savings and Loan'."

Larry was showing signs of the serum's effects jus behind Dr. Forrester. He began panting like a dog, his tongue hanging out of his mouth.

"And, checking the wetness sensors..." He pulled a small padded sensor from beneath Larry's armpit. "we that they are free from wetness and/or odor!"

Larry was still panting like a dog as he gave an impatient look to Dr. Forrester. "Antidote..." He muttered.

"Oh, of course." He picked up a second preloaded syringe and injected its contents into Larry's arm. "The antidote, there you go!" He tossed aside the syringe. "The antidote, and here's your treat!" He pulled a small reward from his coat pocket and tossed it into the air, over his shoulder.

Larry easily caught the reward in his mouth and gave a pleased grin to the camera.

Back aboard the Satellite of Love, Joel and robots were not impressed.

"Oh brother!" Crow complained.

"That was pathetic!" Tom observed. "Ew!"

"Hey, no, I thought that was really good you guys." Joel lied innocently. "I think you're doing really well, and I think that someday you'll be ready for the Nobel Prize."

Tom chimed in. "Maybe for fiction!"

Crow chuckled a little.

"Hey!" Joel regained control of the conversation. "Hey, I noticed you moved! You guys must've got kicked out of Gizmonic Institute for shooting us into space like this, I bet."

Larry and Dr. Forrester looked a little offended. Larry spoke up. "Oh, don't be ridiculous! We moved!"

"It's our grand re-opening!" Dr. Forrester defended. "Welcome to Deep 13!"

Joel recognized the location. "Deep 13? What a minute! That's in the subbasement of Gizmonic Institute! I had to clean up a flubber spill once, there. It's incredibly radioactive!"

Larry was still on the defensive. "But it hasn't affected our brain any!"

"We like it here!" Dr. Forrester passionately claimed. "Now we're even closer to the atomic pile!" He wrapped his arm around Larry's shoulder. "And one day..."

Joel wasn't listening. "Well, I suppose it's time for you guys to start experimenting on us again?"

Dr. Forrester retorted angrily. "I'll tell you when it's time to do the movie, you squinty-eyed space chimp!"

Larry gently corrected his colleague. "Oh, uh, Clay? It is time."

"Oh! Uh..."

"Nice insult though!"

"Thank you. Well, it's a real 'stinkburger' of a film this week Joel! It's called _'The Crawling Eye'_! He held up the tape for Joel to see.

Larry chuckled a little as he began listing the film's flaws. "Oh, it's got a bad audio track, it's in black and white and worst of all: it stars Forest Tucker!"

"Hmmm..." Dr. Forrester had an interesting thought. "Good name. Bad actor."

Again Larry chuckled.

"I'll put in the tape."

The evil scientific due shared maniacal laughter as the tape was put in the control panel to be broadcasted up to the Satellite of Love.

Onboard the Satellite of Love a warning buzzer sounded off and the lights began blinking. Joel of course reacted appropriately. "Movie sign!"

He ran into the _Mystery Science Theater 3000_ with Crow and Tom Servo.

_**-The End**_


End file.
